we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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