Pappa wants mamma naked
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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