I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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