i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
We named our party play list daddy issues
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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