Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
ok first of all what the fuck
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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