he puts the penis in happiness.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
