we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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