You work out of a Hotel?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
