No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
