I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I will be naked everywhere
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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