i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize