I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Randomize
