ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
