I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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