I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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