I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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