the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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