your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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