i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
