Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
vagina is talking i cant
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
