Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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