that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
