just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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