oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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