ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
