Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize