yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
