You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
