Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
