too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
