Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
This house was built for laser tag.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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