Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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