Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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