then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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