I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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