I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
