I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
