What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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