It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
