Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
