Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
