Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
