My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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