He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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