he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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