Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
