Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
