she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just blew my weed a kiss
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
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