If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
