i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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