the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
