the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Randomize
