My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
