absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
