OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
