can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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