So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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