$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
