My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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