If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
a search helicopter?!
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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